Congratulations new mOM you have Postpartum Depression
My Journey began in November 2003 when my first son was 2 months old. I couldn't place why I was feeling more depressed by the minute with anxiety rising, thoughts flaring and feeling like I didn't fit in my own skin. Unaware, I was suffering from Postpartum Depression,OCD, PTSD, Anxiety and extremely overwhelmed.
Being Latina I kept quite about what I was feeling for a long time, due to the fear of being judge and the guilt that consumed me. Unfortunately the Latin culture taught me that if you are pregnant you should feel happy, if you have a baby, you should be happy. A baby is a blessing and any negative thought around baby will have an effect in a negative way, so I suffered in silence.
The journey was long and the recovery was even longer.
In 2006, still not fully recovered from PPD, OCD and PTSD, I gave birth to my second son.
This time, aware of what to expect, I built a better force around me. While OCD and PTSD were no longer an issue, I was still suffering with PPD and high Anxiety.
I found my recovery process getting lighter this time by joining a postpartum support group here in San Diego . mOMmy and baby activities, during and after group helped, made me feel like I was not alone.
I was able to find my breath, my voice and a space to connect with my baby, which allowed me to feel grounded and no longer lost. This gave me a sense of empowerment that I was in control of my thoughts and feelings. The Journey was long in my case, but like the lotus, I grew through muddy waters and in the end I BLOOMED!